Series Finales….. And Insomnia

Insomnia sucks. So do you. It’s 6:30 in the morning. I’m wide awake. Good for you Dids! The early bird catches the worm, right? I should be proud of myself. Maybe I can go for a run, or make a big breakfast. I have the whole day ahead of me, the possibilities are endless! A slight problem with your misplaced enthusiasm, chief… I haven’t slept yet. At all. It’s bad enough trying to work on a few hours of sleep. Try none. It sucks balls. Big, hairy, sweaty balls. I’m at the point in the night where I have to decide if I should risk sleeping through my alarm, or tough it out and stay awake so I’m not late. The later it gets, the more I have to lean toward sticking it out. This sucks more than your baby sister after prom.

Anyway, I’m bitter. But I want to talk about TV series finales. I’m very glad that the writer’s strike is over. They need to get the final season of Scrubs rolling. I need some closure on this. The last season finale I cared about left a really bad taste in my mouth. Actually, I’m technically still waiting for the ending (David Chase, I’m looking in your direction).

I also wrapped up Sex And The City today. Save your jokes, it’s a good show. The writing is intelligent, humorous, and easy to relate to. Honestly, how can you not enjoy women openly discuss swallowing semen, peeing on people, and partaking in anal sex? And that Samantha, boy oh boy, is she a hoot! All that aside, I want to talk about how they closed out the show.

The ending was so, so, so, so predictable. Seriously. Every main character did exactly what you would expect them to. Oh, Carrie left Paris and came home to her friends. And ended up with Big. Who’s first name is John. And Miranda loves Steve. Forreal. And Samantha loves Smith. Forreal. And Charlotte and Harry adopt a kid from China. And keep the puppies. I didn’t see any of that coming. And Carrie and Big reunite after we went through six years of bullshit. Everyone knew it would happen, and we were all waiting for it. And it just, ya know, happens. No build-up, no suspense, no second-guessing. By the way, if you haven’t seen season six, don’t read this paragraph.

Seriously, most shows give you a sense of the direction they are going. You knew from the first episode that it was just a matter of time before Carrie and Big ended up together. So you watch them hook up, break-up, have an affair, ruin a marriage, wrestle Aidan in the mud (ahh…. Aidan. You stud), make booty calls, question their own mortality, date other people, miss each other, move away from each other, hate each other… and now it’s time for them to get back together. So it’s the last episode of the series, it’s going to happen. But how?

At first I hated the fact that he spoke with her friends, who told him to go get her. I thought it would have been better if he just showed up in Paris, surprised her, but more importantly surprised the viewers. I changed my mind because to me that scene was one of the best in the series. The dialog between the characters was deep and heartfelt and it made you actually want them to get back together. The tension and the interaction was perfect, and it really worked. Then he sees her in a hotel lobby, tries to beat up her ex, they trip, they laugh, they have sex. And him saying he wants to come in and bone is the last you see of him.

The last shot of the entire series is Carrie walking down the street alone, getting a call from “John,” who is selling his house in California and moving back to New York. Then Carrie walks away, happy to be home. Oh, and she breaks up with the Russian with like ten minutes left in the show. So they have to cram all the closure into ten minutes. That’s it. Loose ends from 94 episodes are tied up in ten minutes. I shouldn’t complain, at least they tried to give it some closure (David Chase, you lazy bastard). This movie better kick ass. And have Aidan Shaw.

So yea, Scrubs is getting ready to end. Season seven so far has been pretty crappy. I don’t know if it had anything to do with the writer’s strike, but the end of season six was great, and that momentum didn’t carry over much. I really hope they have enough time to finish the series properly, and not have to cut a few episodes out and cram things in. The show has been too damn good for too damn long to get the shaft now. And I need to know the Janitor’s name!

The Wire is the best show on TV. When it retires it will be right there with The Sopranos (1A and 1B in my book). They have a lot of stories to wrap up; McNulty and Freamon’s serial killer, the school system deficit, Clay Davis’ indictment, Daniels’ climb up the ladder, Bubs’ rehab, Templeton’s dishonest reporting techniques, McNulty’s home life, McNulty’s relationship with Bunk, McNulty’s alcoholism… the list goes on. All this unfinished business while the drug war is escalating. Will someone take out Marlo? If so, who? Who will take over if he falls? Will Avon come back into the picture? And what is going to happen with Omar? All these questions need to be answered in the next four hours. And the great thing about The Wire is, these issues will ALL tie into each other.

I cannot wait to see how things play out. Seeing as this is such a realistic show, I know for a fact that we will not get the generic happy ending, where every main character finds happiness and everything works out. A few of the good guys are going to fall. David Simon is on record PROMISING closure. The ending to some of the story lines are going to piss me off. If Omar gets dropped, I just might have to move to Omaha or something. I dunno. I couldn’t think of anything drastic or creative. I haven’t slept. Eat shit.

Anyway, I love The Wire and I love Scrubs and I don’t want either of them to end. But if they must (and alas, they must), I at least want them to go out the right way. I have faith in Bill Lawrence and David Simon, but the writer’s strike has complicated things. And seeing a great show like Sex And The City have such a generic, bland ending, well that’s just unfortunate. That’s all. I’m gonna go make a protein shake (Knocked Up reference). Keep it real.