Anyways, I’m back bitches. Whether or not I’ll stick with this is a whole discussion for another day. Whether anyone will actually read it…. much more doubtful. As I sit here on Tuesday evening, November 3, 2009, my credit card bill is due tomorrow, but more importantly, tomorrow is also game 6 between the New York Yankees and the Philadelphia Phillies [editor's note: I wrote this 11-3-09, but posted it 11-4-09. Deal with it]. The Phils have dug themselves into quite a hole, down 3-2 as the series shifts back to the Bronx.

I love the Phillies. My dad, both of my grandparents, most of my uncles were Phillies fans, so I didn’t have much of a choice. Ask my brother about the 1993 World Series when he decided to become a Blue Jays fan. My father put an end to that immediately. My dad took me to games at the Vet all the time, and even though they were consistently terrible, I couldn’t help but follow the team.

I know nobody cares, but it’s important to understand that minus one playoff appearance in 1993, I had 24 years of third place finishes, starting pitching rotations that included Ben Rivera and Tyler Greene. A team that constantly traded away all starts like Curt Schilling, Scott Rolen, and Bobby Abreu, and got nothing in return (anyone remember Nelson Figueroa? Me neither). Here we are, three playoff appearances in a row, two National League pennants in a row. Most of the core of the team is in their prime, and are signed for the next two years. The Phillies are enjoying a small run of prosperity that has a chance to continue for a few more years, and I think it’s important for all Philly fans to realize how special this really is.

Let’s get back to this year’s World Series. We are up against the most successful franchise in all of sports. 40 time AL champions, 26 time World Champions. Very rarely in sports do teams get an opportunity to dethrone the defending champions, which is exactly what the Yankees are in a great position to accomplish.

Here’s how I feel about the Winter Fall Classic [editor's note: got Flyers on the mind, apologies], five games in…..

Starting Pitchers – Advantage – Yankees. This one is very, very close. Cliff Lee has been absolutely dominant, winning both games he started. Pedro Martinez had a great game, as did Joe Blanton, Both kept the team in the game, and if the offense put up some runs, could have won their games. C.C. Sabathia pitched like the ace he is, Burnett showed that when he has his command, he has the most dominating curve ball in the league. In game 5, you saw how he can struggle without his control.  Pettite showed why he is the all time leader in postseason wins, enough said on that. And Cole Hamels…….. boo.

Bullpen - Advantage – Yankees. Mariano Rivera > Brad Lidge. No one else matters. Moving along

First Base - Advantage – Yankees. Ryan Howard tied the World Series record for strikeouts with 12. Texiera hasn’t done much, but has come through with a clutch hit when the team needed it. His gold glove at first has to be considered as well.

Second Base - Advantage – Phillies. Chase Utley is tied with Reggie Jackson for most home runs in a single World Series. Reggie freakin’ Jackson. First left handed hitter to hit two home runs off a left hander in a game since Babe Ruth.  Babe freakin’ Ruth. While a lot of the lineup has struggled, Utley has been pretty consistent. Cano is a stud, but come on, Ruth and Jackson. Utley gets the edge here.

Short Stop - Advantage – Yankees. Derek Jeter is Derek Jeter. A-Roid wishes he could hold Jeter’s jock strap. Jeter continues to show why he is one of the greatest players of all time, and a born leader. Even in game one, when the entire team had 6 hits, 3 belonged to Jeter. Rollins has a ton of talent, but has a poor approach at the plate that keeps him from being elite. His fielding is still top notch, but he should refrain from running his mouth and focus on getting on base. The Yankees are not the Mets, and I think Jimmy is starting to realize that.

Third Base – Advantage – Yankees. Full disclaimer: I hate A-Roid. A lot. He is everything that is wrong with baseball. He opts out of his $25 million a year contract, and nobody wants him. So he goes begging to the Yankees, who give him a raise (I would have instantly been a Yankee fan if they offered him 20 a year, take it or leave it). Anyway, He has done more than Feliz, so he gets the edge. I wanted to take a few points off for his crying about getting hit, but I’m trying to be objective here. Feliz had a nice clutch home run the other night and always offers a solid glove. Still, as much as I dislike A-Roid, he gets the nod.

Outflield – Advantage – Phillies. Werth wins this on his own. Victorino has been average at best, Ibanez had a solid home run but has done nothing at the plate. Damon had one of the best heads up plays I’ve ever seen when he went first to third on Mr. ‘I Don’t Know How to Hold a Runner’. He is always a tough out and battles at the plate. Cabrera/Swisher/Gardener have been solid, pretty much on par with Victorino and Ibanez. As I said, Werth gives the Phils the edge.

Catcher – Advantage – Push. As a Phillies fan I’m tempted to give this to Ruiz. Posada is a better hitter, but is not as solid defensively. Both call a great game, and are great on the field leaders. I don’t really factor in Molina, because if it wasn’t for Burnett he wouldn’t see the field. Arguments can be made for either one to have the advantage, but it’s just too close for me to call. Remember, this is me trying to be objective.

Tallying the positions, the Yanks have the advantage at 5 positions (starting pitching, bullpen, first base, short stop, third base) while the Phils took only two (second base, outfield) and one push (catcher). It is obvious why the Yankees have taken a 3-2 lead, as they are getting more production out of their players, and are taking advantage when the Phillies make a mistake. Which is happening WAY too frequently.

So far the series has been entertaining. It’s included some fantastic pitching, clutch hits, solid defensive plays, even Ryan Howard stealing second. Every game could have gone either way, and big leads have quickly been brought back to manageable deficits. If the Phillies can pull of game 6, this will definitely go down as one of the best World Series of all time. Come to think about it, how crazy is it that the season rests on Pedro Martinez. Think about that for a second….. Pedro Martinez. Is a Phillie. And is starting game 6. In Yankee Stadium. With the season on the line. Crazy.

Anyways, I love the Phils and I really hope they can pull this off. Win this one and anything could happen in game 7. They have to approach it one game at a time to even have a shot. No matter what happens, I love this team. Check back when the series is over and I will do a recap. Until then, keep it real bitches! And of course, GO PHILS!!!!!

Anyway, I’m bitter. But I want to talk about TV series finales. I’m very glad that the writer’s strike is over. They need to get the final season of Scrubs rolling. I need some closure on this. The last season finale I cared about left a really bad taste in my mouth. Actually, I’m technically still waiting for the ending (David Chase, I’m looking in your direction).

I also wrapped up Sex And The City today. Save your jokes, it’s a good show. The writing is intelligent, humorous, and easy to relate to. Honestly, how can you not enjoy women openly discuss swallowing semen, peeing on people, and partaking in anal sex? And that Samantha, boy oh boy, is she a hoot! All that aside, I want to talk about how they closed out the show.

The ending was so, so, so, so predictable. Seriously. Every main character did exactly what you would expect them to. Oh, Carrie left Paris and came home to her friends. And ended up with Big. Who’s first name is John. And Miranda loves Steve. Forreal. And Samantha loves Smith. Forreal. And Charlotte and Harry adopt a kid from China. And keep the puppies. I didn’t see any of that coming. And Carrie and Big reunite after we went through six years of bullshit. Everyone knew it would happen, and we were all waiting for it. And it just, ya know, happens. No build-up, no suspense, no second-guessing. By the way, if you haven’t seen season six, don’t read this paragraph.

Seriously, most shows give you a sense of the direction they are going. You knew from the first episode that it was just a matter of time before Carrie and Big ended up together. So you watch them hook up, break-up, have an affair, ruin a marriage, wrestle Aidan in the mud (ahh…. Aidan. You stud), make booty calls, question their own mortality, date other people, miss each other, move away from each other, hate each other… and now it’s time for them to get back together. So it’s the last episode of the series, it’s going to happen. But how?

At first I hated the fact that he spoke with her friends, who told him to go get her. I thought it would have been better if he just showed up in Paris, surprised her, but more importantly surprised the viewers. I changed my mind because to me that scene was one of the best in the series. The dialog between the characters was deep and heartfelt and it made you actually want them to get back together. The tension and the interaction was perfect, and it really worked. Then he sees her in a hotel lobby, tries to beat up her ex, they trip, they laugh, they have sex. And him saying he wants to come in and bone is the last you see of him.

The last shot of the entire series is Carrie walking down the street alone, getting a call from “John,” who is selling his house in California and moving back to New York. Then Carrie walks away, happy to be home. Oh, and she breaks up with the Russian with like ten minutes left in the show. So they have to cram all the closure into ten minutes. That’s it. Loose ends from 94 episodes are tied up in ten minutes. I shouldn’t complain, at least they tried to give it some closure (David Chase, you lazy bastard). This movie better kick ass. And have Aidan Shaw.

So yea, Scrubs is getting ready to end. Season seven so far has been pretty crappy. I don’t know if it had anything to do with the writer’s strike, but the end of season six was great, and that momentum didn’t carry over much. I really hope they have enough time to finish the series properly, and not have to cut a few episodes out and cram things in. The show has been too damn good for too damn long to get the shaft now. And I need to know the Janitor’s name!

The Wire is the best show on TV. When it retires it will be right there with The Sopranos (1A and 1B in my book). They have a lot of stories to wrap up; McNulty and Freamon’s serial killer, the school system deficit, Clay Davis’ indictment, Daniels’ climb up the ladder, Bubs’ rehab, Templeton’s dishonest reporting techniques, McNulty’s home life, McNulty’s relationship with Bunk, McNulty’s alcoholism… the list goes on. All this unfinished business while the drug war is escalating. Will someone take out Marlo? If so, who? Who will take over if he falls? Will Avon come back into the picture? And what is going to happen with Omar? All these questions need to be answered in the next four hours. And the great thing about The Wire is, these issues will ALL tie into each other.

I cannot wait to see how things play out. Seeing as this is such a realistic show, I know for a fact that we will not get the generic happy ending, where every main character finds happiness and everything works out. A few of the good guys are going to fall. David Simon is on record PROMISING closure. The ending to some of the story lines are going to piss me off. If Omar gets dropped, I just might have to move to Omaha or something. I dunno. I couldn’t think of anything drastic or creative. I haven’t slept. Eat shit.

Anyway, I love The Wire and I love Scrubs and I don’t want either of them to end. But if they must (and alas, they must), I at least want them to go out the right way. I have faith in Bill Lawrence and David Simon, but the writer’s strike has complicated things. And seeing a great show like Sex And The City have such a generic, bland ending, well that’s just unfortunate. That’s all. I’m gonna go make a protein shake (Knocked Up reference). Keep it real.

Let me get a few things out of the way. I do NOT think Eli is a better quarterback than McNabb. I also think that if the Eagles made the playoffs this year, they would have done just as well as the Giants. I know the Giants beat us twice this year, but the Eagles were playing much better at the end of the year going into the playoffs. Oh if only….

But this isn’t about the Eagles and the Giants. This is about the asshole New England Patriots and the Giants. I’m a little biased, because I have disliked the Pats for years. First, they benched one of my favorite quarterbacks (Bledsoe) for some fag that got lucky a few games. Okay, I was wrong about Brady back then, but I still felt like Bledsoe got the shaft. Then they beat the Eagles in Super Bowl XXXIX, so it became even more personal. That probably wouldn’t be enough to dislike them more than the Giants…

Hello Bill Belichick. How ya doin’? Guess what? You’re an asshole. I dislike you so much that you actually made me root for my NFC East rivals. I will listen to every loudmouth asshole New Yorker from now until the Mets get swept by the Phillies again. And you know what? I don’t mind. It is worth not having to have my grandkids discussing the Patriots and their perfect season.

Why do I hate Belichick? Yea, I’m a little jealous of their 3 Super Bowl Titles. Still, the same can be said about a lot of teams. I don’t hate the Steelers because they had a dynasty. I don’t hate the Ravens or the Buccaneers for winning Super Bowls before the Eagles have. I hate Belichick because he is, as stated, an asshole. He played his starters in meaningless games. He left them in when they were comfortably in the lead. He ran up the score, went for it on fourth down, threw the ball late in the game, and overall was just a pompous prick.

I know some people will say, hey, that’s the game. Play hard the whole 48, don’t worry about the other team. But there is still a code of respect among coaches, and that doesn’t concern Bill. How about when he wouldn’t shake Eric Mangini’s hand after the Pats-Jets game? And that was BEFORE “spygate.” That whole story in itself is worthy of its own post. But Belichick better hire some personal security if it ever is revealed that he cheated to win a certain big game back in 2005…..

I don’t hate all the Patriots. I actually love Donté Stallworth, Laurence Maroney, Asante Samuel, Brandon Merriweather, Randy Moss, Adalius Thomas, and, of course, Wes Welker (hell yea). The only player I truly hate is Rodney Harrison. And maybe Tom Brady. But I still didn’t want to see a perfect season. The only way I would have cheered for the Patriots would have been if they played Dallas. Actually, I don’t think I would have watched. Then I would have missed the Iron Man trailer. Core.

I’m just glad this season is over. The birds will be back next year with a vengeance. I can go back to hating everything that is associated with New York again. To me, the Super Bowl was all about the lesser of two evils. I’ll gladly listen to obnoxious New Yorkers for a few months, than have to hear about the Undefeated Patriots for the rest of my life. And I haven’t even touched the whole, “cheaters never win” thing. It seemed somewhat poetic. Not only did the Patriots lose, but Iron Man blew up a tank. It was a great Sunday to me.

So here we go.

Here’s my first rant.

On Sunday February 3rd, 2008, the New York Giants defeated the supposedly unstoppable New England Patriots in a stunning upset by the score of 17-14. Most people cheered. New York was destroyed by the massive amounts of drunken New York fans (where do the Giants play again?) Everyone was happy.

Everyone, except me.

I will not sugar coat it – I hate the Giants. No, let me rephrase. I FUCKING DISPISE AND LOATHE THE GIANTS. I wouldn’t piss on a Giant player if he was on fire and begging me to golden shower his burning ass. Maybe not as much as I hate the Cowboys, but enough for me to root on one of the most disgusted football team this side of Philadelphia, the New England Patriots.

With that said, let me begin my rant about the Super Bowl. In 2001, the United States was brought to its knees when it was attacked on 9-11. The St. Louis Rams were earmarked for glory and the New England Patriots were the underdogs in the Super Bowl that year (sound familiar?). Everyone expected a St. Louis win. And then it happened. The St. Louis Rams, like EVERY TEAM BEFORE IT, was called on to the field individually. Every player had his name called and when it was time for The Patriots to do so, they said “no.” They didn’t want to be called out individually. They were a team and they were to be called out as a team. A team united, just the country was. How poetic.

The game began, and it happened. To the shock of everyone in the whole United States – a football miracle – the New England Patriots defeated the St. Louis Rams in an upset and became America’s new team (sorry Cowboys).

Coincidence?

From that point on, the New England Patriots seemed unstoppable. Winning two more Super Bowls in four years and loosing only a handful of games. I’m not saying they won every time. They were given a breather now and then and allowed to sit and enjoy a few Super Bowls from the confines of their overpriced homes. But don’t worry. This season, again, unstoppable. Winning an astounding 18 games in a row.

Amazing?

Unbelievable?

But this season was different – people didn’t want to see them win.
People didn’t care about them winning, in fact, people wanted to see them fail. The New England Patriots were no longer America’s team. No one liked Tom Brady. People thought Belichick was an arrogant ass. Then, at the beginning of the season, news leaked out that the New England Patriots were cheating in the prior seasons, taping run-throughs and play calls. My god – the horror.
People were disgusted, no, the world was disgusted.

“How dare they,” people thought. “Those cheating bastards!”

No, this is not the team we want representing America. No, we need a new team to carry on the NFL’s legacy and it is here that we find ourselves back to last night. The New York Giants, like the Patriots against the Rams, are the underdogs in what is suppose to be a royal ass beating. Everyone expected Manning to choke, or Moss to finally win the big one. So as all of America is watching (and I do mean ALL), we watch history unfold. Brady seemingly chokes and plays terrible. Neither the offense nor the defense is making the big plays they were known for throughout the entire season.

And then it happened.

The New York Giants, the underdogs, win.

Seven years after the New England PATRIOTS defeated the St. Louis Rams, the NEW YORK Giants become Super Bowl Champs and the greatest team in the NFL. Coincidence? Yeah, call me an ass. No, I do not think the government or anyone like that is involved with the fixing of football games. But in the end, the NFL is entertainment. People want drama. They want excitement. They didn’t want to watch The Patriots to have an undefeated record. They wanted the Giants, the united NEW YORK GIANTS, to win and they got exactly what they wanted.

Whatever.

Not only comes back, but handles business?

Eat shit Ryan Stone. Eat my shit. And can Laraque do anything but take runs at other players? Didn’t think so. Downie took it like a man, then showed how he rolls. What a stud. Ask David Clarkson how his eye is. Or Jason Blake. Or Hugh Jessiman. And of course, Dean McAmmond still doesn’t know who he is. Congratulations, losers, you have been Downied.

But hey, its the All Star break, so lets talk about where the Flyers stand about halfway through the season. Is it a coincidence that since Downie got called up on January 4th, the Flyers have gone 8-2-1? Or that Scott Hartnell, who had 6 goals in the previous 37 games, has scored 10 in the past 11 since he has been put on a line with Downie and Mike Richards? Speaking of studs, oh that Richards….

The Flyers are currently second in the Eastern Conference behind Ottawa, and tied with the Devils at the top of the Atlantic Division. If they can add Peter Forsberg…. bring it on Detroit. Not only will I be able to break out my Forsberg jersey again (although I just pretend its a Jason Smith jersey), the Flyers will be a legit contender for Lord Stanley’s Cup. Should the Flyers shake up their lines and risk messing with team chemistry to bring in Peter the Great? Hell yes.

If there aren’t any more injuries, and there probably will be, where do you put Forsberg? Here’s my opinion, a.k.a. the correct one:

• Line 1: Gagne / Briere / Lupul
• Line 2: Carter / Forsberg / Knuble
• Line 3: Downie / Richards / Hartnell
• Line 4: Upshall / Kapanen / Dowd / Cote / Boulerice / Umberger

Boulerice and Cote are interchangable. Dowd in my opinion gets sent to the Phantoms (already cleared waivers). That leaves R.J. at center, Jesse or Riley on one side, Scottie or Sami on the other. Maybe you trade one, or use a healthy scratch for added depth come playoff time.

This gives you four lines that can contribute. And remember, once the regular season ends, Denis Gauthier will be available on defense as well. This team can go deep into the playoffs. Just imagine adding Forsberg to the Flyers power play, which is already the best in the league? They will score at will.

I’ll leave you with this amazing quote on the possibility of signing Forsberg that sums my entire argument up perfectly:

“The way I look at it is if you’re going to the OK Corral and you can bring an extra gun, why wouldn’t you?” – Flyers G.M. Paul Holmgren

Go Flyers.

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